Twas the night of All Hallow's & all through the room  

Not a creature was stirring not even a broom,

The apples were floating in a deep cauldron pot

And without sorry revelers were turning to rot;

The little ones weren't nestled all snug in their beds,

Whilst visions of sugar goblins danced in their heads;

And Queenie with her boas & me in Versace threads,

Had just settled down to dine on the dead.

When up in the attic there rose such a clatter,

I sprang from the table to see what was the matter;

To the window I flew with a flash

Shooshing Elvira 'way from her mash;

Saw the moon on the plates of my best dragon brood

Snarling & feasting over some fast-flowing blood

When, what to my hooded eyes should appear

But a large, hooded coach & wolves howling near

Followed in reverence by Nine Kings a-groveling

And a partridge in a pear tree deliciously hanging;

(. . .Oops, dreadfully sorry, wrong schtick);

I heard rattling chains then someone get sick;

I roared out so loud that spiders sprang from the corners,

Then what should I see but Drac & his mourners,

Cavorting & singing in the silver moonlight,

Dark shadows a-lurking, children of the night!

"Now Thrasher! Now, Basher! & Vixen!

On, Comit! On Raven! On, Wondor & Wiccan!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall,

Now tear away! Tear away, tear away all!"

As dry bones before the Witches do fly,

They meet an obstacle & just pass it by

On earth the coursers to the house top they flew,

Maddened with bad poetry & body parts too.

And then a mean goblin I thought I saw

Instead I heard scratching of some hairy paw;

As I drew back my hand with a snarling frown

Into the chimney Old Dracula slid down.

He was dressed all in black from his foot to his head,

And his cape swirled around showing glimpses of red,

His minions before him carried bags of lost souls

How many more victims to realize his goals

His eyes -- how they stared! his face was so pale!

I tried not to look at him to no avail

His little mouth was twisted upside down,

In danger of setting in a permanent frown.

I guess I embarrassed him when I mentioned his teeth,

Where a smear of blood circled like a spinach wreath;

He had a mean little face & hardly any belly

When he smiled, I shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was a lean & mean, a right scary old vamp

And when I first saw him I doubled up in a cramp;

With a wink of his yellow eye & a nod of his head

Said soon I would walk with the living dead.

He spoke not a word, only performed his task,

Sucking my blood after removing my mask

He finished his meal & smiled with content

Then mouthed a chant & up the chimney we went

He sprang to his coach & gave a loud whistle,

Then away we flew like a guided missile.

But I heard him exclaim, as we drove into the night,

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD FRIGHT!"  

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