Never Trust an Old Lady
An old lady pulled over for speeding...
Old Lady: Is there a problem, officer ?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please ?
Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one ?
Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration and proof of insurance, please ?
Old Lady: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not ?
Old Lady: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it ?
Old Lady: Yes, after I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what ?
Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away. Upon reaching his squad car he immediately calls for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars pulled up and circles her car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the old lady, clasping his baton.
Senior Officer: Ma'am, could you please step out of your vehicle ?
The lady slowly gets out of her car.
Old Lady: Is there a problem sir ?
Senior Officer: Ma'am, one of my officers has informed me that you have stolen this car and murdered the car's owner.
Old Lady: Murdered the owner ?
Senior Officer: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Senior Officer: Is this your car, ma'am ?
Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers and proof of insurance.
The officer is quite stunned.
Senior Officer: My officer also claims that you do not have a drivers license.
The woman digs into her purse, pulls out her wallet and hands her license to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Senior Officer: Thank you ma'am, the officer told me that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the car's owner.
Old Lady: I'll bet that lying bastard told you that I was speeding, too.
~ ~ ~ Unknown Author ~ ~ ~
